The Long Way Home

The Long Way Home. Not a detour… the design 

I met God Within between the lilacs when I was four. I connected to the light. The love that never leaves. Plugged in. Innately aware of the life force inside of me… guided moment-by-moment by the eternal loving presence inside of me.

Daddy left when I was two. My beautiful Mamacita was in the grips of severe and persistent mental illness. Medications. Shock treatments. Long institutional stays. They separated us. Carved hollow spaces of her absence. My mom’s mom loved me with every bit of her being. She had limits. Big ones. She left this world on Christmas Day when I was nine. And still… the love remained. The light never wavered. The GPS stayed on.

Decades later, that same connection carried me through fourteen years of domestic violence. Partnership with a man deep in darkness. Shame. Fear. Low self-esteem. A man I chose from disconnection. A descent into the depths of hell… the matrix of long-carried emotional pain and pervasive thought storms. He tried to erode me. Doing so was his path to feel better about himself. He didn’t do it with direct physical attack. It was something more insidious. Ugly words. Insults. Withholding connection. Fits of rage. Days, weeks of silent treatment. Pressure designed to make me forget who I was.

He failed because I reconnected with God Within. The love and light that carried me through danger and dysfunction as a child. This was not a divergence from my path. It was the eternal loving presence showing me, in real time, something unshakable, undeniable. When you stay plugged in, nothing external can take your essence. The love does not erase the circumstance. It anchors you inside it. I found resilience. Presence. Freedom inside the chaos.

That Presence showed me the way out, too. I traveled to the Azuero Peninsula. There I was met by wide open spaces. The quiet countryside. Beautiful beaches. Mesmerizing sunrises and sunsets. Heat. The perfect backdrop to reclaim my sensuality. My sexuality. The parts of me that had been buried, dimmed, denied. They were restored through a torrid love affair. Pleasure. Joy. Curiosity. All present. Pain too. My body remembered her primal self. My heart felt open, easy, and pure. My spirit danced in freedom. Love and light alive, pulsing in me and around me.

Then came the writing of my first book in the Sovereign Path Series. The deep dive into memory. Into the machinery. The matrix of thought storms and imprinting. Exhausting. Necessary. Revealing. It showed me the cost of disconnection. The heaviness of reliving trauma. The difference between being plugged in and unplugged. And it reminded me why staying connected matters more than analysis. Yet, I know it was essential to my evolution.

Now… I’m connected to the love and light again. Conscious. Awake. Alive in my life. Not to fix, explain, or teach. To live a life I love. Feel. Create intentionally from connection. Moment by moment. Choice by choice. Light as fuel. Love as compass. Body as vehicle. The GPS always on. The road winding. The long way home.

The intention of this journey has never been to show anyone the way. It has been to serve as a catalyst for remembrance. To offer a living example of what it looks like to choose connection over collapse. Presence over endless processing. Vitality over proving depth. To show that you can live awake inside your life, not outside it. To demonstrate what it looks like to make your life purpose living a life you love. 

If something in your body softened while reading this. You felt steadier instead of stirred up. Sensed recognition rather than urgency. That is not coincidence… it’s your inner knowing responding to truth. The light of love. The love of light. The eternal, intelligent, loving presence that guides, fuels, and holds us. This is the frequency I live in. This is the winding road I walk in gratitude. It’s what I offer. Not answers or escape. Companionship on the road.

So what do we do now? We check in. Often. We notice where we operate from. Love or memory. Presence or past. We connect to the light. Let the light of love fill our body and expand beyond it. Past the room. The imagined edges of who we think we are. We stay there. Long enough to feel the shift in our nervous system. To recognize that there are no limits to how far we can expand that love and light. It can encompass the cosmos. Proof that we are infinite beings. Each return deepens the pathway and makes connection easier.

Thought storms appear, but we can let them drift by. The matrix calls. Old imprints surface. But we can always choose to reconnect with love and light and create a joyful journey. One rooted in connection. Guided from within. Over time, presence becomes our natural way of being. We feel at home within ourselves. Our GPS stays on. Love and light flows as fuel. Our body, the vehicle, moves with intention.

This is not a return to a previous version of you. It is a return to your essence… your ever-evolving self. Alive. Aware. An intentional creative force. Shaped by love. A life that feels like home because you choose it.

This is a Return to You… The Long Way Home.